As the January wind howls and daily highs hover in the single digits, it’s nice to know our lovely city is among those with a coldest average low temperature during the winter months. Cold nose, warm heart.

Winter in Iowa

65° F:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

60° F:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.

50° F:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down, radio blasting.

40° F:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a long sleeve shirt.

35° F:
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20° F:
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

0°
Arizonans vacation in Hawaii and Mexico.
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

-10° F:
Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

-20° F:
Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

-30° F:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans are upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.

-40° F:
All atomic motion stops.
People in Iowa begin conversations with…”cold enough fer ya?”

-50° F:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools open 2 hours late.

State universities remain open for business.

Too awesome not to share…